Sexual Healing: The Sacral Chakra and Its Relationship to Sexuality, Repression, and Emotions

‘Sexual Healing’ is a monthly column written by Lauren Fleishman. Focusing on often overlooked and, at times, taboo sex topics, Lauren takes an explorative approach to the art of getting it on.

I had a friend come over to my place the other day. I watched him wander around my space, he looked at all of my books and my art. My favorite piece from photographer Michael Donovan called “Ass Crystal” hangs on my wall – it’s a photo of a very beautiful ass with a gorgeous clear quartz crystal on top of it.  After a few moments of looking at it, he came back to me and asked, “What’s your obsession with sex?” I answered, “I’m not obsessed with sex, I’m obsessed with healing.” He looked at me blankly. In his mind, there was zero connection between the two. Yes we know sex feels good and it’s the vehicle to procreate, but it’s also an energetic exchange, a spiritual exchange and can even be a form of active meditation. If you read my last article titled Sex Magic, you learned you can even manifest things, too. The true key to creating deeper, more profound sexual connection, experiences and enhancing creativity is surprisingly found in our healing, and one way is to heal ourselves is through understanding our chakras –  specifically the sacral chakra.

First of all, what is a chakra?

If you do a basic search, the internet probably tell you, “Chakra means wheel of energy inside the body.” This is a metaphor and sort of like a religion. A Chakra wheel is a simple way to visualize complex ancient belief systems that lay within the energetic body. There are seven main chakras thought to reside in conglomerated points associated with the organs along the same vertical path as the vagus nerve, but within the energetic body.

What is an energetic body?

For the sake of simplifying numerous and similar esoteric terms, there are essentially three layers of the general human experience:

– External Space (our physical body, the physical world- earth, wind, water & fire)

– Inner Space (thoughts and emotions)

– Consciousness Space (energetic body)

The energetic body is that mystical murky area where science stops and esoteric concepts begin. Chakras reside in this space, and they themselves are not good or bad, they are considered to be important “check-in points.” Imagine the space between the top of our head and the tip of our spine as a giant vertical pipe and chakras are the swirling wheel that drains and distributes certain types of emotional energy to other places in the body.

If any of the the drains are full or clogged with unprocessed emotions, personal unspoken truths, unconsciousness and repression, our energy becomes stagnant. When our energy is stagnant this can affect our sex life, our creative life, and really everything pertaining to our experience. Have you ever seen a stagnant body of water? It’s a danger zone, a petri dish for potential sickness and disease. Science is beginning to catch up to the causal relationship between emotional repression and physical/mental illness. “Blocked chakras” is one way of interpreting what can happen when we don’t deal with our emotional shit.

In our world, we have an imbalance in values.

Science and rational thought (masculine energy) is overly valued – seen as strong. Emotions and intuition (feminine energy) is devalued and seen as weak. There is no reason why the two can’t work together in harmony. However, there is an inherent and understandable fear and resistance in dealing with that which is uncomfortable (emotions). In my humble opinion, there is nothing more courageous or strong than working on yourself, feeling your emotions, unclogging that which is causing illness. Being alone and focused long enough to deal with yourself is tough.

Feeling is hard.

I know this because I’ve suffered from sexual repression, depression, low self-esteem and crippling social anxiety throughout my adolescence and early twenties. It fucking sucks. Before I had the tools to deal with it, these “mental illnesses” affected every facet of my life, including sexuality. Unable to speak my truth, create art, have boundaries or do anything but people please, I often times made decisions that unknowingly went against my own self interest thus blocking my creativity and the highest expression of my self.

Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, my favorite influential thinkers, both attribute mental illness to an ‘inner cause.’ Freud’s sexual theory is that sexual repression is the root cause for the majority of mental and physical illness. Jung differs slightly as he believes sexual repression is one of many causes of mental illness. Regardless, both Freud and Jung ultimately agree that sexual repression is unhealthy for the individual and what is unhealthy for the individual is unhealthy for the collective.

Discovering what is ‘wrong’ with me was one annoyingly long journey.

The next journey was figuring out what to do about it. Pharmaceuticals tend to cause more residual havoc than sustained relief, so when I have a problem I always try the holistic route first. I went to Costa Rica and I learned about chakras and alternative healing at Blue Spirit Retreat in Costa Rica, a community attached to the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies. Both of these communities are the brainchildren of the respected Stephan Rechtschaffen, MD. I had a few holistic teachers at Blue Spirit, one who explained to me the theory of chakras. She explained that “balancing your chakras” is not just for bougie new-age women who attend yoga classes, it’s a holistic way everyone can release toxic emotions and sexual repression so we can become more balanced, mentally, physically, spiritually.

She went through all of the chakras and talked about what it feels like to have them balanced and what it feels like to have them imbalanced. She spoke of the sacral chakra, particularly what it looks like when not in balance. The key characteristics are:

– Dependency, co-dependency with other people or a substance that grants you easy access to pleasure

– Being ruled by your emotions

– Feeling numb, out of touch with yourself and how you feel

– Overindulgence in fantasies, sexual obsessions

– Lack of sexual desire or satisfaction

– Feeling stuck in a particular feeling or mood

I identify with a lot of these “symptoms” and I suspect a lot of people struggle with them, too. Western society tells us it’s okay to take a pill, ignore or cover up our emotions. I disagree. I think whether or not you you believe in chakras doesn’t matter, regardless there is a relationship between our energetic body, emotions and our sexuality/creative output.

In Part 2 of this series, I will discuss ways to “unblock” the emotions clogging up the sacral chakra which can lead to better sex and more sustained creativity.

L’Agent Goodies…