Above The Rim (A Girl’s Guide To Eating HIS Ass)

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There’s been a lot of noise on the Internet lately about eating ass. Guys claiming they’re all about doing it, girls exclaiming they want it done.

The thing is, there’s something crucial missing in the conversation. Eating HIS ass.

I can’t tell you how many conversations about sex I’ve had with groups of guys that ‘poo poo’ the idea of having their ass growled out. (Excuse the pun).

“I’m not gay, sheesh.”

The last time I checked, homosexuality was defined by “Of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex.” Thank you Oxford dictionary, but even that seems a little narrow in this day and age, though, that’s beside the point.

If your girl wants to lick your asshole, my male reader friend, you will not become gay. Well, perhaps in the old-fashioned definition. You sure as hell will feel some typa way, but no, it won’t change your sexual orientation. It WILL DEFINITELY blow your mind.

The idea that you might refrain from, or miss out on experiencing such pleasure because your mindset is short-sighted, well – shame on you.

You need to get over the stigma. Your mates won’t be watching. No one will know but you and your lover. Allow yourself to go to places you’ve only imagined.

Women, if you are feeling a little squeamish about the idea, and it’s actually YOU holding him back from a trip to heaven, come onnnn. Are you the same girl fiercely arguing that period sex is seriously no big deal (I agree, it’s not). Don’t be a hypocrite, though. It’s very unbecoming.

And so, without further ado, let me tell you about techniques and methods to making ass-eating and rimming delicious & pleasurable for both parties. Because trust me, just like anal sex, there are some preparations that are especially necessary…

The number one thing I recommend is a shower. I’ve talked in the past about how nice it is to shower with your lover, regardless if you’re going to lick his ass, but in this instance, it’s 100% important. There’s not a single part of me that wants to get leftover toilet paper or anything else as a surprise in my mouth in this situation. So, undress each other, wash each other lovingly & thoroughly with a wash cloth or loofah sponge (paying extra attention to his butt crack), and get yourselves clean.

I want to also backtrack and say that I don’t think it’s all that important to talk about what you’re planning to do to him. The reasons why:

1. If he’s open-minded and you have an inkling that he’ll be into it, just make it a sensual and exciting new adventure.

2. If you think he’s going to be weird or shy or freaked out by it, once you bury your face back there, and he’s pushing you away, you can grab his hands and coerce him into just relaxing and enjoying the BEST FEELING EVER. Trust me. NO man getting his ass rimmed by you is going to complain afterwards.

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Anyway, back to the tutorial…

Don’t listen to anyone telling you to rim him in the shower. There’s too much water, and it’s awkward. Your knees will hurt and he won’t feel the same intense sensation because of the water and heat. Dry off properly and tell him to lie on the bed, face down. If he questions you, tell him to chill; you’re about to give him a “sensual massage.” And yes, start with that. Get some nice, good quality oil and rub his body with it. Long, sexy strokes down his back, over his lovely shoulders, up and down his tense neck, all the way down his spine, and then onto his ass cheeks. Rub them in an upward motion from the top of the thigh up to his lower back, slightly exposing his butt hole to the air.

Massage his thighs, the outsides and the insides, and when you think he’s horny and relaxed enough (and if he doesn’t have a boner yet, he’s about to) slowly lower your face to his ass and give him a long (flat-tongued) lick from the bottom of his balls, over his gooch (the area between the balls & anus) and over his asshole. Like I mentioned above, if he’s shy or weird, he might need some gentle cooing or restraining, so hold his wrists down softly, and get your mouth back to his genitals. Continue to lick like that for a few more strokes, and then focus only on his hole. Circle it, lap it up, push your tongue into his asshole and lick up to his the top of his crack.

Make your tongue soft, and lap his ass like a pussy cat. You can stiffen your tongue and essentially ‘fuck his asshole’ with it. Some guys might like you to moan because the vibrations of your voice does just as that implies. Vibrates against his sensitive regions. 

You can very gently bite & chew at his asshole too. Tougher than the head of his penis, you can play a little more rough with his butt than with his cock. Remember to loving attend to his butt cheeks and upper, inner thighs too. Everywhere will feel super sensitive and ultra tingly right about now.

He will be literally out of his mind with ecstasy right now, and his dick will have never been so hard.

You might like to have him turn over so that you can at this time also jerk him off with great expertise. Make sure his cock is nice and slippery, and work that hand like the professional you know you are (all the while, continue to give him the best ass-licking possible).

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If you’re a bit more knowledgable & confident, you can also leave him face down and go for the reach-under, jerking him off with his cock bent towards you, behind him. Be careful though… it’s a tough organ, but it’s not a joystick. Depending on the strength of the boner, you should be able to get it most of the way around.

Another good position at this point (if he’s game) is doggy style, where he’s up on all fours, you’re doing the reach around and your face buried in his ass.

The thing I really like about doing this to my lover, is that it’s something I can do for him without any expectation of sex. This experience keeps me in control, without being overt and makes him uncontrollable in the best way possible. It can be a stand-alone occurrence. Despite how wet I become, I’m not using this as foreplay… it doesn’t have to be a prelude to a 2 hour sex session.

Buuuut, what usually happens after he experiences one of the best orgasms of his life, is a little wipe-down and reciprocation.

My lover becomes so aroused and excited about the new-found feeling, that he goes directly to my pussy & ass to give the love back.

Just like a little third-person romp with a girlfriend & double-ended dildo or video-taping, this kinda fun might not be an every night thing, but definitely introduce it into your sex-lives and file under ‘now & then’.

We are one of only three creatures on earth that make love for pleasure & recreation rather that merely for procreation. Don’t deny yourself or someone else just because of a thought that doesn’t even exist.

Go forth and prosper, my friends – find me on Instagram to give me your questions or feedback. I’d love to hear about your experiences.

L’Agent Goodies…