A couple days ago Evie wrote an article titled ‘The Art Of Choking’ about auto-erotic asphyxiation & choking (a women) during sex. I gave it a read and immediately texted my (#squad) group chat ‘round-table’ to gather the consensus on whether choking girls was something they’d done and got into.
The extent of details of their debaucherous stories was both hilarious and eye-opening. As the conversation cooled, I pinned the guys down with individual texts in order to better assess the topic, and their points of view.
While waiting on their responses, I let the question rattle around in my own head. I wondered about the people out in everyday-land less than inclined to try a little kink. Are there really humans out there content with having passionless, politically-correct, beige sex? Then I stewed even harder over what kind of savages might be out in the world paying no mind to the body language of the person they’re fucking. Moreover, are these girls with Sasha Grey all over their tumblr & instagram feeds just internet posers frontin’, or are they actually down to get jiggy. Because the message I am is getting, is that women are dying for a little soft-core domination.
While all these questions and responses had a party in my brain, I took a moment to query my own opinion. I know in my heart of hearts the how/when/why to choke my lover. And it’s kinda my thing. I’m into it. Whether it’s to give myself some leverage to get my stroke correct, or when it’s inappropriate to have her screaming or even moaning loudly and I have to hush her with fingers over (or inside) her mouth, or a sleazy sleeper hold, I know how hard and for how long (and where on her neck). In my experience, if you take the time to pay attention and get to know your lover’s body, rhythm etc, the context, clues, cues and body language will better help you create a perfect but fragile bubble of passion and intimacy.
So, what of the tales of my friends? Read for yourself:
Joaquin, 27yrs old:
It’s the feeling of dominance you get when you have her by the neck, you know she wants it but you also have to take care not to be too rough cause a wrong move can kill the whole mood. I do it depending on the position, or when she grabs my hands and places them around her throat.
Logan, 22yrs old:
It’s part of how I express myself sexually. I’ve never asked a girl to do or try anything. I think I just work my way into all the freaky shit that I imagine doing. I love to give a woman a feeling or experience that she wouldn’t usually receive on a day to day basis. I like to facilitate the fetish. For instance, if a woman fantasizes about being hurt, then my fantasy is to abuse her. It works hand in hand. The only semi-weird shit is when they choke you back, harder…haha.
Ely, 26yrs old:
I mean, I feel like the women I’ve been with love that kind of domination. Well, sometimes. I think possibly a lot of girls that asked me to choke them had some Daddy issues, but what man wouldn’t want to play Daddy??
Josh, 22yrs old:
The first time that a woman asked me to choke her, it was all her. She begged me to do it. I was like wait, what? Then she told me to spit on her… But there have been times where I tried it out, and the girl and I ended up fighting the remainder of the night. It’s mostly best to broach the subject gently before launching into a full choke-hold attack.
Ezekiel, 29yrs old:
I was once with a girl who worked at a strip club. She was really big into S&M. She asked me to choke her while fucking her. I had her head buried into the bed. I spat on her, choked her with my hands and made her choke on my dick. Somewhat tentative as she mouthed the words “harder” and “more” at my face, it gave me a little of a “wtf” moment but I was excited and nervous, which is how I think you’re supposed to feel. From that experience I have become more into the idea of kink, rough sex and sexual domination