When Sex Is Casual

Since I’ve been single, things have been… well… very sexually active. I’ve met and have had the pleasure of being with some amazing, beautiful girls. Some of them were girlfriend material, others not so much, but at this point in my life, coming out of a long and rocky relationship, it’s impossible for me to be into any sort of commitment. What do people call it - emotionally unavailable? Right, well that’s me… Let’s be honest: I just tried too hard to do the serious thing for a long time, and now I want to have some fun. There! I said it. Now, I really do my best to make this known before I put out any sort of vibe, and despite (or possibly, because of) my clear intentions, girls seem game for the most part.

When I am out socializing, I’m very upfront and honest: if anything may or may not happen with me, it will most likely be casual… Ugh, I sound like a whore, but for the most part, when I’m talking or interacting with a girl, I am being genuine. I may not be interested, but I do love to make women feel good about themselves. They (you) are all beautiful, every woman is beautiful in her own way. Amazing, beautiful, CRAZY creatures you women are. And I find myself telling you that on every occasion I have, and then we have a drink and then a few more, and well… you know. But the fact is, I wake up next to a stranger most of the time just to figure out over and over again I’m still not emotionally ready for any sort of anything.

Now, let’s be suuuuper clear. I am not taking a different girl home every night, but I’ve been doing my share of casual dating. A few repeats here and there, couple one night stands everywhere else… I ain’t no mind reader, but I can tell if a girl is starting to get into me and at this particular crossroad in my life, it’s the last thing I want to happen… Gotta sort some shit out, ya feel me?

So I find myself dropping hints left and right so that girls won’t get the wrong idea… sometimes they pick up on it, and when they don’t I end up feeling like a dick…

Here are some notes to help you figure out if a dude or chick you are dating is just a hookup, or if he/she is actually into falling in love. Maybe it can help someone else pick up a hint and prevent some harsh feelings.

#1

We all love having fun and I will never knock down ANYONE for doing so. But let’s be AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE, ladies. If you want something serious to happen with a man you just met… DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM! Sorry fellas, but think about all the serious girlfriends you’ve had in your life: which one gave it up on the first night? And if she did, how serious of a girlfriend did she end up to be? There has to be exceptions, of course, but not in my book.

So you are into him, great. Let him know, but don’t fuck him for Christ’s sake! Where’s the fun and self-respect in that? I mean, besides the fucking? This is not a good place to start a relationship, or any sort of serious prospect for that matter. Bottom line is: if you give it up on the first night and expect things to turn into a relationship, you are nuts. What is there to look forward to, besides an awkward morning? Or more sex? Either way, there is plenty of time for that. Make him take you seriously. Get comfortable.

That is, of course, IF you want to turn this into something. Otherwise, swing for the fences, fuck like bunnies.

#2

Fuck buddy hints should be pretty obvious, but for those who need the truth pointed out: if I am not calling and hanging out with you during daytime or under any sort of natural light; if you only somehow get my texts halfway or 99.8 percent through the night… you are a booty call. Nothing to be ashamed of… In fact if it’s good sex, fuck it, ain’t nothing like a good fuck buddy with no strings attached during rough times. Let yourselves be used, it’s good dirty fun.

Some major signs during sex may consist of: no kissing on the lips, no confiding after sex, he doesn’t stay the night, or doesn’t care if the girl does, and never make plans in advance… These red flags all indicate that you are or have a fuck buddy.

Now this next one kinda goes hand in hand with the daylight thing and late night calls: if he is always out with the guys and you with the girls and you somehow never do anything together, but always seem to end the night in lust, we’ll go ahead and permanent mark “fuck buddy” next to that phone number, if it was somehow still in pencil.

#3

Now let’s flip the script real quick and give you an overall view of how my head works when I’m interested.

If I’m into a girl AND she has not allowed me to whore myself out to her, the motha fuckin chase is on, ya dig?!?! Now I hate games and I will NOT chase a girl all over the fucking town (unless I somehow fall in love again, in that case I’m hopeless). It ain’t worth it fellas… plenty of fish in the sea. BUT… I will admit I, if allowed, will romance, wine, and dine the fuck out of any girl I’m serious about… So take nothing less ladies.

Make him work for it. I can’t speak for any other guys, but I’d like to think and hope we all enjoy that shit.

I can’t tell you how long to wait, cause I don’t think you can put a time period to no sex. But building up something real and not only based on sex makes that long horrible wait so much better in my opinion…

So I guess my final thought and advice to anyone trying to get something serious going would be to BUILD. Build a relationship, don’t let yourself fall into the fun, or fuck buddy category.

Casual sex is great, and lots of fun. But truth be told, people’s emotions can and do get caught in the mix of things. And that is the last thing I want to happen, hence the word casual and the phrase “emotionally unavailable.” Now I am as upfront as possible as I said earlier, but shit happens.

So I guess I needed to let you guys hear my hints and thoughts… and ask you, how retarded and off am I? Anyone else got some tips or input…?

Stop the hurt, have fun ladies and gents. Oh, and wear a condom people, be safe.


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