We know each other, a little, and I’m something of a shrinking violet. My girlfriend and I often have intense fantasies that sometimes involve other people, but we’ve never acted on them. Personally, I feel that actually acting out these fantasies is, well naughty, and also that it might hurt our relationship somehow. I guess I feel guilty! How do we make it happen, and how do I bring it up without sounding like I just want to fuck another woman? »
I think there’s nothing wrong with acting on your fantasies, no matter how wild and naughty they are… just as long as you and your girlfriend are on the same page. I will always remember eavesdropping on a funny couple sitting next to me at brunch one day. Giggling and giving each other high fives, they were reminiscing how good they fucked that hot babe they had picked up at the bar the night before. I’ve never had a threesome with a boyfriend, but that seemed to me like it would be the ideal morning after scenario. Faced with the honest, sweet vulgarity of it all, I couldn’t help but flash a smile.
Which brings me to ask you this: Does your chick want to fuck another woman, too? If you’re always the one having to bring up the threesome idea, are you sure she’s into it for real, and not just trying to please you? If you actually share this intense fantasy, then there shouldn’t be a problem. Thing is, sexual experimentation will never be damaging to your relationship if you make sure to hang together tight. Use humor to lighten up any awkward moment and most importantly, do it as a team. If you both want it, then everyone will get off.
Most people thrive on primal instincts. There will always be some sexual fantasies and urges you could be tempted to fulfill outside of your relationship; and there may come a point in any love story when either one or the other will have to acknowledge sexual road block, or even an intense physical attraction for someone else. When that happens, you will have to decide if you want to rise above and stick to your couple, or open that door and create a distance from the one you love – which is sure to break the foundations and eventually make the relationship crumble.
Is it even possible nowadays to live happily ever after in a monogamist situation without a glitch? The answer is different for everybody. In your case, my dear, what you need to ask yourself before you even try to make anything happen is why the hell are you feeling guilt, the most useless emotion of them all? Your desires are normal; they are part of your own personal sexual and spiritual growth. You can’t deny them, however you can choose whether you want to hear or shut off that voice that screams for more inside your head. And that mental switch may very well be the key to a successful, pleasant and long-lasting relationship.